I used to view the future as scary and overwhelming because I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually from ages 3-5 years old. I was afraid of most men and speaking to most adults. My abuser was random with his abuse, but occasionally I noticed a connection between when he got in trouble or something didn’t go his way then I would receive the backlash of his inappropriate anger. I never knew when something would set him off, so I learned to survive by making myself invisible. I decided enough was enough at 14 and that began the upward climb towards getting the most out of life.
I never dreamed. I didn’t realize until going through child abuse training as a former educator the long term effects it can have on the victim. I was so angry that it happened. The warning signs in my training were me entirely (needing to get to school really early, having random anger that I couldn’t explain, social withdrawal, headaches and stomaches often). See here for more warning signs of child abuse.
It brought some clarity on why focusing was so difficult for me. I never told a soul until I had my first psych break at 14 years old. There were a lot of transitions going on then. My friends contacted the school counselor because they noticed a change in me. There was no invisible and I’m forever grateful...
I started seeing a counselor briefly. Through the exercises she had me do, I started feeling pieces of joy again. I gained the confidence to confront my abuser and actually started dreaming for my future. I was journaling a lot as well (diary entries, poems, whatever I felt inspired to write). I was given the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens from my mom’s dear friend Rebecca. From there I heard about writing a life mission statement. I started setting some boundaries for myself and for the person I would marry.
Shortly after that I had auditioned for the top music program in the school district and made it! This group was called the Music Company (MC), directed by Bernard Crouse. It combined acting, dancing and singing with 10 girls and 10 guys. The best of the best. Most of us alumni from MC have gone off to get multiple degrees, become business owners, have philanthropic means in society, and even a few got into politics! I was really blessed to be a part of this group and know it completely transformed the way I viewed boys and men. From here I gained the confidence to believe college was possible for me (earned a music scholarship).
I have some incredible lessons through the journey of school, work, more school, and now business to share with you how to have the best life!
Disclaimer: If you are in extreme pain, or distress please call your doctor. If you are prescribed medication from your doctor, please use these tips in addition to continuing your regimen.
- Choose to find meaning.
I choose to live my life now empowering those weak be it by their cognitive delay, their socioeconomic status, or their lack of social confidence. Despite being a victim of child abuse and the long range effects of it, I choose to rise above. So many people stay stuck there or become abusers themselves.
- Take care of your body and mind.
I exercise daily for a minimum of 20 minutes (either cardio, muscle fitness, and always flexibility). I also meditate daily. I started with 5 minutes a day and have worked my way up to about 20 during the week and 45 on the weekend. Research shows meditation transforms your gray matter and increases your compassion!
- Review and reflect over your life experiences.
I’ll share with you a bit of what’s been going on in my life over the last few years:
- Wrote and self published Whole Life Affirmations while going through a nasty divorce,
- Creation of Move Happy Facilitator Program (a 16-week psychological/fitness program),
- In development stage of Move Happy Elite VIP Leadership Course (a 6 week intensive course designed to give you the key info for MHFP via video and worksheets),
- Started working from home thanks to a pretty sweet wellness company out of NYC that gives me more time freedom to grow my Move Happy Brand and,
- Connected with possible investors for my Move Happy Brand.
The possibilities truly are endless for me, as they are for you.
- Share when you have a success so others can benefit.
Believe the feeling when you feel joy. Pursue with passion. Don't listen to people who tell you, you can't do something. That's horse poo! I have many passions and this year my main focus is to build my Move Happy brand for mental health awareness. I also am a musician and desire to share that gift with others when time allows. Feel free to check out a song my bro and I did a few years back.
- Let go of any anger towards anyone.
It's a waste of your own space and it doesn't change that person one bit. For my abuser, I chose to forgive them because I believe the universe created an opportunity through the mess; providing me resilience and empathy towards others.
Don’t forget to tell someone you love them today.
She is a creator, singer/song writer, fitness enthusiast, self-published author, philanthropist, and passionate about making an impact with mental illness (specifically depression). Her current focus is spreading happiness and empowering others to create their best life possible through her Move Happy Facilitator Program (group therapy-fitness led instruction). To connect with her personally, reach out to: Support@AffirmQueen.Com or social media:
Instagram: @TheRealMoveHappy (positivity and fitness), @ErinNicole62686 (mind supplement questions)