Kindness. It costs nothing to give but can be invaluable to another. It seems like a very obvious ‘no-brainer’ to make use of to help in our own lives, and the lives of others. So how can there be such an absence of it in the world at times?
The answer, hurt. When we get hurt emotionally, we close up and shut down our hearts. We no longer want to put our trust in others to prevent ourselves from ever having to experience that level of pain and suffering again.
The irony is, in shutting our hearts down to prevent ourselves from being hurt, we also close ourselves off from the potential of ever being pleasantly surprised by someone who genuinely shows kindness. It also causes a negative outlook within ourselves for our lives in general, meaning that we are far less likely to show any kindness or compassion to ourselves either.
Essentially we recreate that pain and misery for ourselves that we are hoping to avoid from others.
This does not mean we need to be doormats for people to take advantage of either. But by simply showing kindness to yourself, your headspace will be more positive, and will give you a truer reading of who is genuine and trustworthy, once you honour your intuition.
Keep those who you feel are not trustworthy at a distance, without the need for feeding into negativity. Conversely, try to gently open yourself back up to others who show honesty and integrity, and who you feel deserve a place in your life.
Kindness can be contagious. Sometimes people who have not been shown it in their childhood, those who have not been taught how to accept it, or believe they are not worthy of it may react poorly at first to being shown it. Mostly, it just takes someone to lead by example repetitively, then it tends to catch like wildfire!
Kindness is not just equated with buying gifts. It can be giving someone your time, and truly listening to what they have to say. Kindness can be choosing to not judge. It can be a simple smile, or an understanding tone of voice. It may be showing warmth to someone who may be excluded, which can happen in adult life, just as easily as during child’s play. It is letting someone know that they matter.
Sometimes kindness is perceived as being a soft or weak trait to possess, when in reality, it takes great courage to be so vulnerable and open towards another human being. You risk being misunderstood or rejected, but even if that is the case, know that you are bringing the other party one step closer to being able to accept it as a gift, even if they are not quite ready yet. And if they are, both of you will gain, as you will be left with a positive mental and emotional afterglow knowing that you were a helpful presence in the life of another.
The energy centres (chakras) of the body were originally named in Sanskrit. The heart chakra is ‘Anahata’ which means ‘to unhurt’. When we begin to show loving kindness towards ourselves in how we think, feel and talk about ourselves, we begin to unravel the threads of hurt in our hearts, to bring us to a state of being ‘unhurt’ again, or at least, less hurt.
We are then in a more positive position to help others to unhurt also.
So remember, show kindness inwardly to begin. You absolutely deserve it. Then when you have a more positive outlook, trust your intuition. You will know who to distance yourself from, who you can help through the example of showing kindness, and also who you can trust to further help and support you on your journey.
Psssst! Kindness is contagious….pass it on!
About Mia King
Mia King is an Irish primary school teacher, with a particular interest in wellbeing. She regularly uses meditation, movement, discussion and art with her pupils to promote positive mental health practices from a young age. Mia holds an MA in Dance and particularly enjoys using Dance for wellbeing through facilitating Chakradance classes for adults, as well as Inamojo classes for children's wellbeing. For more information on Mia's writing and practice, please check out www.wellbeingwithmia.com.