Project Happiness Articles — love

No one can go through life without being hurt by another human - often it’s not intentional, but it can certainly feel that way. What do you do with those emotions? How do you transcend, forgive and move on?

If happiness is available to us at any moment through the power of our minds, why does it sometimes seem so hard to do? When our thoughts run amok, how do we choose better ones? We’ve all had those experiences (moments, hours, even days!) when finding a happier thought seemed nearly impossible. When endless loops of worry, frustration, overwhelm, etc. not only challenged our ability to find our happy place, they caused us to forget we even had the choice.

A little over a year ago, I was shocked with the most painful news of my life. I was sitting on a train from San Diego en route to LA, and my father called from the Philippines to tell me that my mother had passed away. An electric shock sensation crawled down my spine and I started to wail on a train full of strangers. I was an ocean away, so far from my family that my mind could not register the painful reality. My mother had no debilitating or life-threatening conditions to the knowledge of myself and my family.

When we get into a relationship we seem to try to be perfect, we wear masks for fear of not having that person see us the same way they originally thought, we won’t show parts of ourselves because we don’t want to admit our faults, in fear of not being loved.

"Happiness is inside of you, and you can achieve it anytime you like, no matter the outside circumstances." How many times have you heard this phrase? Although it sounds completely legitimate, it seems unachievable, at least to you. Most of us are like this. Here are the steps you can take starting today to bring more happiness in your life.

I've developed a simple rule over the past couple of years which initially seemed somewhat self indulgent - and I was sure would need to be knocked on the head after a short time. But two years on, it still seems to work incredibly well. The rule to live by was quite simply to: "Stop doing things I don't love".

In lieu of the two very tragic deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain this year, I want to remind all of you to be extra kind to one another for this is a perfect example of, “you have no idea what others are going through”. You may not feel that the subject of mental illness pertains to you, but it should, as more than likely someone in your life is going through something that you know nothing about.

So, tell me, did I sleep through the portion of Home Ec where they taught us that in addition to sewing on a button, we needed to learn positive self-talk? Did I miss the college course: “Care for Thyself Fundamentals?” At what point are we taught to love and honor ourselves as individuals and human beings?

If there is one thing all parents want, it's a child who is happy and content. From a strong foundation of happiness, children can achieve so much, so it’s no wonder we’re always looking for ways to maximize this happiness. As many families are discovering, a child’s happiness can be greatly increased simply by having a pet around as a companion.

Until last week, I had no clue who Anthony Bourdain was. But in no time, everywhere I looked on social media, there were posts, tweets, quotes, images reminiscing him, remembering him, missing him. I wondered what he would have felt like, if he would have seen this kind of outpour when he was alive.