Project Happiness Articles — attitude

Journaling brings happiness because it helps us to see the forest through the trees. The act of writing helps us prioritize the people, places, activities, and work that foster joy and meaning in our lives.

If happiness is available to us at any moment through the power of our minds, why does it sometimes seem so hard to do? When our thoughts run amok, how do we choose better ones? We’ve all had those experiences (moments, hours, even days!) when finding a happier thought seemed nearly impossible. When endless loops of worry, frustration, overwhelm, etc. not only challenged our ability to find our happy place, they caused us to forget we even had the choice.

Do your parents, significant others, friends, or even colleagues have tons of quotes and positive sayings around the house? Mine do. Everywhere I went in my childhood home, there was always some form of inspiration. From the guest bathroom to my mom's home office, there was never a moment where I didn’t see something positive. 

Eventually, things began to slip through the cracks. They were minor, at first. A missed meeting here, a late deadline there, but as things began to add up it cost me many of the things I had taken for granted in my life. I lost relationships, friends, even my job. Sadly, none of that was enough to convince me to stop. I believed it was all replaceable, and that there were other factors besides my drinking that was to blame. It wasn’t until I woke up in the hospital after a night downtown, with no recollection of what happened, that I was forced to take a good, long look at myself. It was hard, but for the first time, I was able...

There's a lot to consider when we're passionate people feeling strongly about ten different things at once - motivation, resources, priorities, time management, etc. I know for me, I find it challenging to balance what's most important, what is calling me loudest and give it sufficient attention, without worrying about what's going to the wayside in the meantime. So lately, I've been thinking seriously about what exactly it is that I want to do. What is it that I want to be working on right now to be where I want to be.

Life is a journey of self-discovery, on which we can either be our own best ally or our own worst enemy. It depends on whether we see ourselves through a critical or compassionate lens. It depends on whether we accept and believe the critical stories we tell ourselves or recognize and question them with gentle curiosity. So treat yourself like you’d treat your best friend, with comfort, empathy, and encouragement; ask yourself whether you want to be perfect or healthy? Superior or connected? And remember, we’re in this together.

Our oldest left for college last fall (yep, that was about a year ago). It has taken me this long to process how such a milestone affected me, and to understand that even the departure of one child can turn a household sideways. Notice I didn’t say upside down (like the dark world in Stranger Things). That’s because I don’t think an Empty Nest is a bad thing….it’s an adjustment.

The more I read about how social media has become the new playground for bullying, the more inspired I felt to help spread kindness instead. Children were not only being bullied at school, but now had to deal with bullying long after they got home, because of social media. I came up with the idea of a kindness challenge so kids had a reason to turn to social media for a positive experience.

Thoughts precede action! But the key word in that phrase is action. If we have our “ideal” life only in our heads and written out as lists that we look at occasionally throughout the year-we most likely will never reach our “ideal” self. 

I've developed a simple rule over the past couple of years which initially seemed somewhat self indulgent - and I was sure would need to be knocked on the head after a short time. But two years on, it still seems to work incredibly well. The rule to live by was quite simply to: "Stop doing things I don't love".