Project Happiness Articles — acceptance

When you’re feeling down and out, or generally just low, do you ever feel pressured to pull yourself out of it as soon as possible? To constantly appear happy? But what if we accept that not being okay, is very much part of being okay; how might this impact our personal journey?

What if, regardless what we're going through, we choose to see our minds as a tool, a friend, a co-creator in our path towards freedom and wellness? What if we see the issue, label or whatever we're annoyed at our minds for, as a separate entity i.e. not part of the mind itself, but a passing albeit unwanted visitor?

I was deeply sad when I was supposed to be happy, which was a good description for how I had been feeling for as long as I could remember. And so a few months later, in a country where people are more likely to admit to having had liposuction than they would admit to (or even consider) having their mental health checked, I walked into a psychiatrist’s office for the very first time.

At first, this title makes us feel like we’re entering a dark room. But I promise this darkness won’t stay for long, and by the end of the article, as our mind understands and gets comfortable with this truth of life, we will see bursts of light.

Which is worse, to lose someone you love to a long term illness or to lose someone you love unexpectedly? This morning I woke up to the news that a local five year old little girl, Avery, had passed away from a tumor in her brain on Mother’s Day. I had been following this family on social media for the last several months. 

So, tell me, did I sleep through the portion of Home Ec where they taught us that in addition to sewing on a button, we needed to learn positive self-talk? Did I miss the college course: “Care for Thyself Fundamentals?” At what point are we taught to love and honor ourselves as individuals and human beings?

Comparison is an insidious, unhelpful pattern of thinking that we can often resort to when we don't feel good about ourselves. When we feel down or unsuccessful or uncomfortable in our bodies, the world can quickly become a catalogue for comparison. When it comes down to it, all I or you can do is be who we are, so why not start to actually enjoy and appreciate that?

I now see my life with only physical limitations. I can write in bed even if it’s a paragraph at a time. I want to succeed, but this time I will do it. No more being scared of the future. Cancer is often the hardest thing people go through. But the way I see it, feeling negative with cancer will only make you feel worse.

In all ways, I believe this is true. At the very burning, volcanic diamond-centers of ourselves, we are complete. Enough. Multiversal. I do, however, have trouble reconciling this truth with my inherent impulse to try and improve myself constantly.

The trap I was falling into was the tendency to judge each and every experience on the scale of my likes and dislikes. If we truly want to learn how to embrace each moment of our lives, rather than pulling some close and pushing others away, we need to understand that a sensation is neither desirable nor undesirable.