Project Happiness Articles — kindness

Life is a journey of self-discovery, on which we can either be our own best ally or our own worst enemy. It depends on whether we see ourselves through a critical or compassionate lens. It depends on whether we accept and believe the critical stories we tell ourselves or recognize and question them with gentle curiosity. So treat yourself like you’d treat your best friend, with comfort, empathy, and encouragement; ask yourself whether you want to be perfect or healthy? Superior or connected? And remember, we’re in this together.

The more I read about how social media has become the new playground for bullying, the more inspired I felt to help spread kindness instead. Children were not only being bullied at school, but now had to deal with bullying long after they got home, because of social media. I came up with the idea of a kindness challenge so kids had a reason to turn to social media for a positive experience.

Back in May, Project Happiness Founder Randy Taran teamed up with Reader’s Digest and judges including Good Morning America’s Robin Roberts to ask you where is the Nicest Places In America. We received hundreds of applications, and in June, we shortlisted the Top 10. America voted and now the results are in!

I wasn’t born an expert on self-care; the truth is, I was that person you see running around taking care of everyone’s needs and letting her wellbeing take a back seat, like, way back. Career always came first and so did the needs of my friends and family. My idea of self-care was to get a complete physical every year or so, to slather on some sunscreen and moisturizer and get on with my day.

When was the last time you did something for someone without being asked, without the thought of a reward or payment of any kind, and without anyone else knowing what you did? A few minutes ago? Last week, month, year? Ever?

If there is one thing all parents want, it's a child who is happy and content. From a strong foundation of happiness, children can achieve so much, so it’s no wonder we’re always looking for ways to maximize this happiness. As many families are discovering, a child’s happiness can be greatly increased simply by having a pet around as a companion.

A few years ago I had a conversation with my cousin Stephen. We were catching up over lunch. He said something to me that was initially very offensive, and still sticks with me years later: "You are a really nice person, but it comes off very fake." Taken aback, I asked him to explain more. He shared that my perma-smile and optimistic attitude just didn’t feel genuine. He didn’t connect with my attitude.

But I did take notice when, as we were lining up in the aisle to deplane, one of the boys smiled at me and handed me a folded up napkin. In truth, I almost tossed it away without unfolding it. But as I strode towards the exit, I indulged my curiosity. And found myself speechless.

Kindness. It costs nothing to give but can be invaluable to another. It seems like a very obvious ‘no-brainer’ to make use of to help in our own lives, and the lives of others. So how can there be such an absence of it in the world at times? The answer, hurt.

In all ways, I believe this is true. At the very burning, volcanic diamond-centers of ourselves, we are complete. Enough. Multiversal. I do, however, have trouble reconciling this truth with my inherent impulse to try and improve myself constantly.