Project Happiness Articles — joy

Do your parents, significant others, friends, or even colleagues have tons of quotes and positive sayings around the house? Mine do. Everywhere I went in my childhood home, there was always some form of inspiration. From the guest bathroom to my mom's home office, there was never a moment where I didn’t see something positive. 

Though there are various systems of organizing emotions – ranging from five individual “families” of emotions (enjoyment, anger, fear, disgust, and sadness), to seven, to ten emotions, all the way to the latest research by Dr. Dacher Keltner and Alan Cohen pointing to smooth gradients of twenty-seven emotions. Brené Brown’s research has highlighted thirty emotions. For the purpose of this book, in order to take a deep dive on selected emotions, I have narrowed it down to the ten. Each one is more fascinating than the last. 

I have learned that experiences never occur in a vacuum. That is, there are always other people with whom we share life. I found happiness through the people who cared for me, and the faith, hope, and unceasing love they imparted. In reflecting upon my own experiences with cancer, I have identified two constant and continual “avenues of happiness” from within the “frame of experience” of my own journey through cancer. Perhaps these will bring some peace, hope, and healing to those of you who read this also. Your healing, in whatever form that may come, is my hope.

I've developed a simple rule over the past couple of years which initially seemed somewhat self indulgent - and I was sure would need to be knocked on the head after a short time. But two years on, it still seems to work incredibly well. The rule to live by was quite simply to: "Stop doing things I don't love".

‘Should’ is an interesting concept. Where does it come from? How do we know what we should and shouldn’t do? Well (and I’m just taking a stab here!), most of us learn basic right and wrong from an early age. But the thing is, ‘should’ won’t always lead where I want to go. ‘Should’ won’t bring me happiness.

I HATE MY LIFE!!! Have you said that before? So have I, but I found a story that personally helped me and I want to share it with you. Once upon a time there was a farmer. The farmer complained about the lake on his property...

But I did take notice when, as we were lining up in the aisle to deplane, one of the boys smiled at me and handed me a folded up napkin. In truth, I almost tossed it away without unfolding it. But as I strode towards the exit, I indulged my curiosity. And found myself speechless.

I’ve made the song You&Me for my daughter Eline with Down syndrome (Ds) to let her know how much I love her and to raise Ds awareness. I went from shock and disbelief at birth to acceptance and love…but most of all I gained the insight that the negative way society and medics look at Ds is not true.

So, the unerring thought that hit me when I turned 50 was, “Why do I look old but feel 27?” I imagine most of us feel much younger but we adhere to society’s rules, pack away our padded shoulders, big hair and Jelly shoes and sit on the sidelines from now on in.

This isn’t to make one feel sorrow for people with less but to make one understand that often our happiness has already been achieved and that we are simply programmed to want more and more and more and more.